I would take photoshop photo's of my not pregnant belly like that pesky rascal Simone. When I had one i would cook for it and have my own cooking segment just like Toni called Flos' Flops. Then! I would tape it walking and talking and blog the videos like Ess and others. I would be so cool!!
You may be thinking " well Flos you don have a baby to blog because you simply don have a baby!" BUT!
I am thinking, in one of those pure evil split second thoughts, I will steal one!
I hear you gasp at such audacious claims.. but, you see my blogging friends, I am a slave for fashion and I feel that there is no other way my baby accessory dream can be achieved.
You see I cannot have a baby.. that would make me fat and get stretch marks and I am pretty sure my future husband (only you know who you are hot stuff) would like a flabby waist line on his brand new wife!
Of course the stolen baby must come with 2 year warranty, instruction manual, off switch and a full refund. But i am sure you were all thinking that would be the case anyway. Because of course all babies come with such things!
Then it must also have a booster button which makes it grow up to a nice non-talking non- crying age.. say 3 and up? ... did i mention that babies and I don't generally get along?
ON second thoughts perhaps I wont steal one. On second thoughts perhaps I will completely be absolutely fine without a spewing, pooing, crying blob.
Yes, I shall revolutionize the blogging world. You guys are all just going to have to give your babies back. Its not cool you see.
Jess - you can have my baby till its about 3 and then I will have it back!! I am dreading having another little one to look after - too much hard work for me! I like them Harri's age too - still a bit cute, toilet trained but not too smart to answer back yet :)
ReplyDeleteWe have tried many times to send Noah back for a better model too, but they won't take him ;) Then again - maybe we should be sending back the other two and keeping him, since he is the only one that really listens to us and doesn't make a mess :)
Jessica, I definitely agree, who wants babies? I am so glad i am passed that stage, but i'm just wondering if thats what mum thought before she found out she was pregnant with you at 40! I'd better not say too much as I've found that the big guy has a sense of humour & I bet he would think that was funny....
ReplyDeleteHaha... but Jess, you are such a natural with little Minol! I'm actually wondering why he didn't come with all that stuff- I would love an off button sometimes... actually, a sleep button would be nice- specially when at 5 in the morning when he should be sleeping he looks up at me and starts smiling and talking!!
ReplyDeleteim not fond of babies either Jess!!!
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