How great is my joy.

I seem to dream certain happenings perhaps months in advance and then they happen for real -- this probably sounds a little strange -but I've always had the memory that I've seen my life before, the feeling that I was looking through a porthole into the future.

This feeling/memory has always been confirmation of the pre-existence for me.

Today I was reading the following blog:

Remembering the Pre-Existence

By David Larsen | Published: July 30, 2008

Many will probably find this post a bit beyond the parameters of my normal style and subject matter, but I have been wanting to write on this for some time now. The purpose of this post is to introduce you to a book called The Soul’s Remembrance: Earth is not our Home (Seattle: Onjinjinkta, 1999), by Roy Mills. This is, believe it or not, a book about a man who can remember his life in Heaven before he was born. Roy Mills is not LDS, but is a Southern Baptist from Georgia. However, when my father (who is quite an expert in Near Death Experiences and related matters) gave me this book, I was amazed to find the author speaking very naturally about a pre-mortal life, claiming that his mission here on Earth was to not have a veil of forgetfulness so that he could teach people about our heavenly origins.

When I first picked up this book, I had some reservations–However, as I read the book, I felt a certain sincerity that caused me to set some of those doubts aside. So I will let you decide whether you believe Mills or not. I will present here some highlights from this most intriguing book.

In The Soul’s Remembrance, Roy Mills tells the story of his life, which he remembers beginning well before he was born on this Earth. He tells of living in Heaven and of being put through a school, of sorts, to teach and train him about how life would be here. He tells of the angelic guides and teachers that helped him learn, and of the other relationships that he had in Heaven before his mortal life. He tells of heavenly gardens, of recognizing the intelligence that even the flowers had, and of seeing the prayers of mortals reaching heaven as beams of powerful energy. Among the most amazing recollections that Mills recounts are his interactions with both Jesus and God the Father, whom he often terms “the Spirit Father.” He remembers receiving a mission to perform here on Earth, coming down to this sphere, and even having his spirit placed within his physical body inside his mother’s womb. As he grew older, he continued to have contact with familiar angelic beings that he knew from Heaven, although as he “became more earth-bound” in his thinking, he began to forget some of what he knew from Heaven. In April of 1995, his angel guide once again appeared to him, and the memories of his heavenly home flooded back into his mind. This angel, whom he knew so well, told him that the time had come to share his recollections of Heaven and that he should write a book.

Mills begins by describing Heaven and his first memories of being “in-training” to come to Earth. He recounts:

The first of my soul’s remembrances is of being in a place of very bright, white light. Even the people and angels there glowed with the same pure light. In fact, everything in Heaven radiated light. It is impossible to accurately describe heavenly things with earthly language, because there just aren’t words to describe them. All I can say is that Heaven was the most beautiful place I have ever seen.

I didn’t experience any physical sensations like we do on earth. I was never hot or cold or hungry, and I didn’t feel any pain. In Heaven we had spiritual bodies, like the Bible describes, instead of physical bodies. But I did experience many of the same emotions we have in this life: excitement, joy, caring, compassion, and, most of all, love. There was always a lot of love everywhere…

Before birth into mortality, I saw that we were young spirits–much like children–and we needed to learn and develop in order to prepare for life on earth… I can’t say how long it lasted–if it was months or years–because there was no day or night and no way to track time like we do on earth…

The building where I received my prebirth education had a lot of rooms, and each one was for teaching me a specific thing. For example, one room was used to introduce me to people who would play an important role in my earthly life, another room was where I selected certain life experiences and was taught about them…And I had several angel guides during my schooling to assist me in my training and education, but one particular guide stayed with me longer than the rest…(pp. 6-8)

This particular angelic guide was his principal teacher and was the same being who appeared to him in 1995. Mills believes that we all have this type of guardian angel assigned to watch over each of us. On the idea that spirits begin young and eventually grow to maturity, see the current manual, Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith, Chapter 14, subtitle “Parents who lose children in death will receive them in the resurrection just as they laid them down,” pages 176-178.

One of the most important tools used for his pre-Earth training was the Life Book. He describes the nature of these books and how they worked.

I wasn’t sure what the Life Books were, but when I entered the room where I was to learn about them, they were impossible to miss. A heavenly light shown in the room, flowing from every corner, even from the Life Book itself. The book was very large and thick, as big as a small suitcase. It had an ornate cover and sat on a table about five feet tall. Just looking at it, my excitement grew. I sensed the importance of the Life Book and how special it would be to my training.

The angels were always careful not to let me or anyone else touch the book. When one of the angels spoke, the book opened by itself to reveal pure white pages. In an excited voice, my instructor asked me what I saw. I replied that I did not see anything except blank pages. He told me to stare into them and concentrate. I did as he said, and watched in amazement as the book revealed events that would happen in my earthly life. Each page showed me one part of my life, much like a television, and then the page turned by itself (pp. 9-10).

Mills was shown, in detail, many of the things that would happen to him in his mortal life: what his body would look like, who his mother would be, his schooling, his marriage, and other experiences. At one point he asked his angel guide if he would eventually return to Heaven. She replied that it was up to him, and that that was what free will was all about. When he asked about free will, she replied:

It is each person’s right to choose to do good or bad when they are on earth…To love or not to love, to help others or not to help others, to believe in God or not to believe in Him, to live in the light or live in the darkness (p. 12).

Mills goes on to tell of the end of his training and the “Exit Room” or “Holding Room” that spirits enter as they are being transported to Earth. He can actually remember being led by an angel to where his mother lived and then being “pushed” into his infant body inside his mother’s womb. He recounts how it was difficult getting used to being in a mortal body, how quickly his mortal mind absorbed his spirit’s knowledge, and how he struggled to make his spirit and body work as one. Compared to the free movement of the spirit existence, being in a body felt like “wearing a jacket made of lead” (p. 28). He goes on to tell of how he was frequently visited by angelic beings as a baby, comforting him and helping him accustom to his new Earth life.

One of the greatest points that Mills emphasizes throughout his story is that our trials in this life have a purpose and that God is always willing to help us overcome them. He tells of how he was given the opportunity to choose which trials he would have in life, and shown the blessings that he would receive for enduring them well. Each challenge we go through in life helps build our faith and allows us to use the spiritual gifts given to us in Heaven. Our trials were chosen by us and approved by God to fit our specific mission in life. He explains:

Our physical bodies are only a temporary home for our spirits, and nothing can truly harm who we really are. So when I selected my earthly experiences, I had no concern for what they would do to my physical body. I knew that the more I suffered for others, or because of others, the more I would grow in spirit. And with that knowledge, I had a completely different perspective on adversity and the experiences I chose for my own life (p. 118).

The mightiest spirits are those who, like Jesus, chose to suffer the most. It is important for us, says Mills, to never just accept the problems we face in life. In the spirit realm, we did not choose our trials in order to just live with them–we chose them in order to learn and grow by overcoming them. God did not let us choose any challenge that we would not be able to overcome, and has given us the tools and spiritual gifts necessary to do so. We need to learn to depend on God to help us overcome these trials.

While there is much more of interest in this little book (144 pgs.), I will conclude by giving the two most special and glorious recollections that Mills shares from his pre-mortal experience. In the first, Mills describes entering an immense room divided by a veil.

I saw two figures standing behind the sheer curtains. One was a large angel, and the other was a man with the kindest face I’ve ever seen. The room was filled with a golden tint, but the space all around the man glowed with a bright, pure white. The light was radiating from him, and I had never seen anyone whose light was so pure and glowed so strongly. I entered the room, and the man looked at me, smiling. A knowing passed between us, and I immediately knew that this was Jesus, my Savior (p. 111).

As the angel tried to show him something, Mills found that he could not draw his eyes away from Jesus. The other angel became rather upset that Mills was not listening, but Jesus showed only love. He tells of how Jesus then embraced him:

Then He did come closer, and He swooped me up in His arms like I was a child. Both Jesus and I were glowing brightly from the wonderful light of His love, and as He held me to his chest, I imagine I was the happiest spirit in Heaven that day. I held on tight, telling him how much I loved Him, and we talked and laughed and hugged each other over and over again (p. 113).

At the conclusion of the book, Mills recalls the most wonderful experience that he can remember from his pre-Earth life. This event took place before his preparatory training began. He remembers being in a large and glorious room, which he soon realized was the Throne Room of the Father.

As I looked around, I saw that this section of the auditorium faced a large elevated platform that was several feet higher than the area where I was standing. A very large, pure white chair sat in the center of the raised floor, a few feet back from the edge. The chair was simple in design, but very impressive. It glowed with a powerful, pure white light. It was then that I realized I was in the Throne Room, and that I was waiting in the area where the audience of souls was to stand before the Spirit Father…I was going to see the Father (p. 131)!

A great multitude of spirits was gathered there, waiting to receive their mortal life’s mission from God himself.

Once the audience of souls was assembled, an incredibly bright sphere of light appeared at one side of the throne area…[it] moved across the floor and came to rest on the glowing throne. Looking at the light was like seeing the sun from only a few yards away. But it didn’t burn my eyes, though it was infinitely brighter than the noonday sun. It was the most brilliant, pure, and magnificent light I’ve ever seen. it was the source of all light in Heaven and elsewhere–the Spirit Father, God, Himself (p. 132).

A heavenly escort of a couple dozen high-ranking angelic beings accompanied the Father as He entered. They wore white, crimson, or blue robes trimmed with gold. Two special beings stood near the throne, shining with such glory that they appeared to Mills to be engulfed in flames. However, the brightest glory surrounded the Father, whose light was so bright that Mills could only see his forearms and the lower half of his legs and feet. Eventually, it was Mills turn to approach the Father and receive his personal mission (which would be a special mission to remember Heaven and share his memories with others). He was called by name and brought to the Throne in a ball of light. After he had received his mission, the Father allowed him to see into His glory and behold Him directly.

Then He allowed me to see into His light, and I saw Him, and he looked like a man. We are truly made in the image of our Creator.

His appearance was one of great wisdom and strength. He was powerful-looking and very tall–much taller than the average man. The robe He wore shone with a pure white light, and He wore no shoes. There was a neat fringe of white hair around his head, and a crown of light suspended above his head. His face was very kind and loving, yet strong and marked with authority. As I stared at Him, I was filled with awe and humility, but I also felt safe and very loved (pp. 139-140).

Grand Council by Robert Barrett

The Father reviewed with him the difficulties his earth life would hold, but assured him that He would always be ready to help him and that he could always call on Him. He told him that Jesus died so that he could return to Heaven. This experience with the Father has helped Mills through all the difficult times of his life.

I recommend that you take at look at this unique book. As Latter-day Saints, we believe in, teach and wonder about our pre-mortal life with God in Heaven–but how often do you come across someone who can actually remember it? If what Mills has written is true, The Soul’s Remembrance is an amazing example of someone who can. And what’s more, this comes from a non-LDS source. In his closing thoughts, Mills declares:

God sent us here to learn love in a greater way and to share our love with everyone around us. We must always remember that we are much, much more than our minds and our bodies, and that earth is definitely not our home. Thanks to my heavenly memories, I know that all of us are here for a reason. Life does have a purpose–and that purpose is love. Everything we think or say or do is important to our growth and the growth of every other spirit on earth (p. 143).

Note: The pictures included in this post are not taken from Mills’ book.

original link here

This piece was written by David Larsen ( a member ) about Roy Mills book ( a non-member)

This all being said, I have other memories/short glimpses and truths from what I feel is the pre-existence, one of them has been playing on my mind - it was of a friend who made me promise that I would find them. I'm not sure why this memory is so significant and why it comes with so many raw emotions.

As Kyle & I have been struggling lately with our purpose and feeling greatly burdened with the trials of where our family should be/live - I could not have discovered this at a better time.

I realised my witness of the plan of salvation, of our Heavenly Father and our elder brother is enough for now. Everyday I learn to look at life with a greater eternal perspective and everyday I come one day closer to returning to live with not only my Heavenly Father but my earthly Father.

How great is my joy.