I would take photoshop photo's of my not pregnant belly like that pesky rascal Simone. When I had one i would cook for it and have my own cooking segment just like Toni called Flos' Flops. Then! I would tape it walking and talking and blog the videos like Ess and others. I would be so cool!!
You may be thinking " well Flos you don have a baby to blog because you simply don have a baby!" BUT!
I am thinking, in one of those pure evil split second thoughts, I will steal one!
I hear you gasp at such audacious claims.. but, you see my blogging friends, I am a slave for fashion and I feel that there is no other way my baby accessory dream can be achieved.
You see I cannot have a baby.. that would make me fat and get stretch marks and I am pretty sure my future husband (only you know who you are hot stuff) would like a flabby waist line on his brand new wife!
Of course the stolen baby must come with 2 year warranty, instruction manual, off switch and a full refund. But i am sure you were all thinking that would be the case anyway. Because of course all babies come with such things!
Then it must also have a booster button which makes it grow up to a nice non-talking non- crying age.. say 3 and up? ... did i mention that babies and I don't generally get along?
ON second thoughts perhaps I wont steal one. On second thoughts perhaps I will completely be absolutely fine without a spewing, pooing, crying blob.
Yes, I shall revolutionize the blogging world. You guys are all just going to have to give your babies back. Its not cool you see.