It is 4am and Hunna has left for work all ready. He does so much for us- not to mention working crazy hours, changing the worst poopie nappies for me and giving me the best shoulder massages a woman couldn't buy.
I love him fiercely.
This reminds me of a song..
"Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me"
and is the perfect line to lead me into..
The language of loke
From loke to love
It has been a glorious week of traveling the east coast of Tasmania.
It has been a glorious week of Kyle, no middle name, Andrews.
He isn't perfect. But he is kind, he is generous and he makes me happy. Uncontrollably, utterly and completely happy.
He is my forever. He has been my forever since the moment he kissed my wrist and I am falling in love.
He stares into my eyes and I melt into his. I feel all sparkly and glittery like I am something to be admired and in-turn I admire him back.
He leaves me, with kisses of loke, a week after he came and I return to school and life..
Without him I am filled with confusion and longing. I had felt so happy being busy. Working three jobs, I thought summer school was what I wanted. Where I wanted to go, but all I can think about is him. Family. Our future. Our family.
I need him to want me, I need him to need me. I need to know for sure that he feels the same way because I am setting myself up to be heart broken if it doesn't work out.
I am scared he wont want to sit under the apple tree with me forever.
I am more than scared, I am petrified. I think I love him.
A week later I fly up to meet him in Geelong.
I get off the plane having just completed a night shift at work the night before and a full on week of summer school before that - but I am buzzing.
We hadn't planned to see each other until after summer school was finished but I couldn't stay away, even better - he didn't want me to stay away.
As I come down the escalators my eyes flit around searching for him like a child looking into a candy store window. Overwhelmed by all the choices until I spot him waiting by the bottom. I look into his eyes as he smiles up at me and all my confusion melts away. This is right, this is real. I am moving from loke to love and I feel fine. He is my candy man Kyle. My sweet centered addiction.
It is the end of January.
I show him my home and he shows me his.
One day, close to the end of February, I wake up and get down on my knees and pray to Heavenly Father. I pray to him. Not to ask if Kyle is the right man for me, because I have known since the moment we met. I get down and pray that Kyle will know that I am his forever.
I keep telling the man of forever, my man of forever-- that I loke him.
That is all well and good... except I don't just loke him. Its not more than like anymore. Its love. Warm, fuzzy, head over heels, weak at the knees love.
I am in love. But how do I tell him ?