9 lives.

They say cats have 9 lives, lucky for cats.

Unlucky for us non cats.

I am sitting here today after yesterday's entry and trying to drum up something in my head that is doable.

The words of the sunscreen song whirling around in my mind, over and over.

" Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t. "

It doesn't make me feel any better.

 

So of course, I google ' the prefect life' because apparently I google everything these days. Seriously. I do.

( At this point in time I wonder if Mum is ever embarrassed by me, If I was my Mum would I be embarrassed by a child who googles 'the prefect life' and then unceremoniously dumps her baggage, regularly, online?... ...probably, except she'd definitely use an adjective like uncouth to describe the whole deal)

 

At the top of the google search page I found 5 things a palliative care worker says her patients say before they die:

1. 1.) I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
3. 2.) I wish I didn’t work so hard.
5. 3.) I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
7. 4.) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
9. 5.) I wish I had let myself be happier.

I absolutey and utterly understand number one. It makes me feel even more determined to commit to something right for me.

The problem being, I don't know what the right thing for me is yet.

Also, I called Collette. From this blog post - you'll know that means I am ready for cold hard facts.

She's good at that.

And telling people who push in to get to the back of the line.

But mostly I am still just as confused as I was.. As I have been. My whole life.