On day 12 without him.
We finished our conversation and I text 'Love U' & he replied 'Love you' and I felt so cheap.
One tiny little word difference: YOU.
And I felt like his 'you' had hurled my 'u' into orbit.
He had spoken. It was final. He loved me.
I realised the power of words.
Words not spoken, words spoken.
Spoken so clearly, so directly, that they could not be misunderstood.
And I wished so hard that my lame little 'u' would morph into an orbit hurling 'you' too.
Because I really wanted to tell him.
Just how much I missed him.
Just how much I loved him.
Because I do love YOU dear Hunna.
YOU, YOU, YOU.
You are mine and I am yours for eternity.
WE are married- not just til death- but forever. Fact.
This alone comforts me the most when we are apart so much.
Because I think that's just about the absolutely, most positively romantic thing you could ever have done for me.
When I play ' what if ' in my head and plan vastly different life scenarios where my life leads to endless riches or Nobel prizes for curing cancer.
You are always there. You take me to the alter in every new scenario just so I can kneel across from you and say " YES! Yes, yes, yes!!" over and over again.
I want to be with you forever. I love that we are together forever.
If there was a choice ( in another life scenario) of only remembering one thing and forgetting everything else; I would choose to keep the knowledge that you and me are together, forever.
Screw you death.
Also, in this scenario I would hope we'd have a special notebook and you'd patiently read it to me every week to bring me back to full cognition, even for a moment.
Except in this scenario, the knowledge we would be together forever would make the final scene - our two old dead bodies next to each other on a single nursing home bed - way more romantic and emotional.
* if you've missed my corny splurges, you'll be happy to know the Internet had finally been connected in our new home and regular blogging updates will of course now re-commence.
( I know you've been hanging out for this stuff Collette ..)